Related:

• MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
  In Russia and the Orient the monarch has still a considerable influence in public affairs and in the disposition of the human head, but in western Europe political administration is mostly entrusted to his ministers, he being somewhat preoccupied with reflections relating to the status of his own head....
• DAMN, v. A word formerly much used by the Paphlagonians, the meaning of which is lost.
  By the learned Dr. Dolabelly Gak it is believed to have been a term of satisfaction, implying the highest possible degree of mental tranquillity....
• PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Adore, v.: To venerate expectantly.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADOLESCENCE: The stage between puberty and adultery. -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary
• GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons.
  It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest....
• CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...