Related:

• I wouldn't put THAT in a safety deposit box," remarks the gnome with disdain, tossing it over his shoulder, where it disappears with an understated "pop".
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• One day this guy is finally fed up with his middle-class existence and decides to do something about it.
  He calls up his best friend, who is a mathematical genius....
• A novice went into the master's cubicle and saw a new computer sitting upon the master's desk.
  "What is that computer?" asked the novice. The master placed his hand upon a small box that was connected to the computer by a wire....
• Let's practice. Edmund comes in and says, 'Hello Baldrick.
  ..you haven't seen Percy, have you?', to which you reply....
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday evening and walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces.
  He turns to a gorgeous woman, who is obviously windowshopping, looks her straight in the eye and says, "I can tell by your eyes that you really want that necklace....
• Grimes: God, he eats like a pig. Lenny: I dunno.
  Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck....
• You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fa
  Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door -- Pray what is the reason of that?...