Related:

• MONSIGNOR, n. A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HOVEL, n. The fruit of a flower called the Palace.
  Twaddle had a hovel, Twiddle had a palace...
• PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions.
  The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead....
• DATARY, n. A high ecclesiastic official of the Roman Catholic Church, whose important function is to brand the Pope's bulls with the words _Datum Romae_.
  He enjoys a princely revenue and the friendship of God....
• PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• NIRVANA, n. In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DRUIDS, n. Priests and ministers of an ancient Celtic religion which did not disdain to employ the humble allurement of human sacrifice.
  Very little is now known about the Druids and their faith....
• LIBERTY, n. One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
  The rising People, hot and out of breath, Roared around the palace...