Related:

• OPTIMISM, n. The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.
  It is held with greatest tenacity by those most accustomed to the mischance of falling into adversity, and is most acceptably expounded with the grin that apes a smile....
• OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
  A pessimist applied to God for relief. "Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God....
• MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil.
  When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition....
• SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest.
  Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians....
• FORGETFULNESS, n. A gift of God bestowed upon doctors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• REVERENCE, n. The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• REPROBATION, n. In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned.
  The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation....
• PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme.
  This doctrine should not be confused with that of foreordination, which means that all things are programmed, but does not affirm their occurrence, that being only an implication from other doctrines by which this is entailed....