Personal ad:
Slim white male, 35, seeks attractive white female, 27. Must have tatoo
(dogs, butterflies, okay; no rainbows, gnomes or battle scenes). Must own
late model foreign car with radial tires (and snows). Should be well tanned,
blue eyed, blonde, (sunny yellow, not platinum or dishwater), and have own
luggage. Must be T'ai Chi expert and familiar with multiple bodyrub
techniques. Must have own chili recipie (no celery). Must bathe, not shower.
Must have working command of Latin (hear it, speak it, order and hail cabs
in it). Must have own flesh-pulley equipment and collection of travelogues,
intermission reels, and wrestling magazines (circa 1950-54, good to mint
condition, bagged for clean and easy storage). Must possess own lifelike
false face and iron-on refrigerator decals. Can be pensive but not moody.
Must dig roller opera. Must possess lots (I mean it) of ketchup.
