Related:

• It was a mutual parting of the ways. We gave him the freedom to do what he wanted to do.
  "What was that?" "Drink himself to death." -- The Cowboy Wally Show...
• Alcoholic problems? Yes, I can't afford it.
• And now, Little Bobby Pootwaddle will read last month's contest winner.
  "Last month's question -- `In 1000 words or less, describe how Amy Sue Sturdfetzer looked much older than 12....
• I met the Surgeon General; he offered me a cigarette.
• The Magician of the Ivory Tower brought his latest invention for the master programmer to examine.
  The magician wheeled a large black box into the master's office while the master waited in silence....
• I was raised a country child.
• Tis said, Percy, that civilised man seeks out good and intelligent company, so through learned discussion, he may rise above the savage and closer to God.
  Yes, I'd heard that. ...Personally, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I'm best....
• This is an operating table, and I am the surgeon.
• Lorena Bobbitt: Our next Surgeon General.