Related:

• QUIVER, n. A portable sheath in which the ancient statesman and the aboriginal lawyer carried their lighter arguments.
  He extracted from his quiver, Did the controversial Roman, An argument well fitted To the question as submitted, Then addressed it to the liver, Of the unpersuaded foeman....
• MORAL, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right.
  Having the quality of general expediency. It is sayd there be a raunge of mountaynes in the Easte, on one syde of the which certayn conducts are immorall, yet on the other syde they are holden in good esteeme...
• PREVARICATOR, n. A liar in the caterpillar estate. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• KEEP, v.t. He willed away his whole estate, And then in death he fell asleep, Murmuring
  Well, at any rate, My name unblemished I shall keep....
• BOTTLE-NOSED, adj. Having a nose created in the image of its maker.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RANSOM, n. The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller, nor can belong to the buyer.
  The most unprofitable of investments. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Portable, adj.: Survives system reboot.