Related:

• PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance.
  A moving line called the Present parts it from an imaginary period known as the Future....
• Opportunity, n. A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LITIGANT, n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ACCORD, n. Harmony. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• IMPUNITY, n. Wealth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• TRUCE, n. Friendship. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary