Related:

• They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..." (Killed in battle during US Civil War.
  ) ~~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, d. 1864...
• They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...
  -- Civil War General John Sedgwick, his last words, Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, 1864...
• They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...
• Be careful when throwing a boomerang - you might hit the back of your head.
• A group of soldiers being prepared for a practice landing on a tropical island were warned of the one danger the island held
  a poisonous snake that could be readily identified by its alternating orange and black bands....
• Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dame
  King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harlod mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was cannonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks....
• There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up with taking in a round with his wife.
  One time (with his wife along) he was having an extremely bad round....
• A hillbilly boy married a hillbilly girl and went on a honeymoon.
  They were supposed to stay two weeks, but they didn't stay two weeks, they stayed one night....
• Lightning can't hit us at this dist... -- Famous Last Word