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• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• A little woman fell in love with a man 90 years old--until she made a date with him.
  She goes out with him that night, and a friend says the next morning, "How did you like him?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him...
• When an old man marries a young wife, he grows younger - but she grows older.
• Well, my daddy left home when I was three, And he didn't leave much for Ma and me, Just and old guitar an'a empty bottle of booze.
  Now I don't blame him 'cause he ran and hid, But the meanest thing that he ever did, Was before he left he went and named me Sue....
• There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up with taking in a round with his wife.
  One time (with his wife along) he was having an extremely bad round....
• He that toucheth pitch shall be defiled therewith. -- Old Testament -- Ecclesiasticus xiii, 1
• For now the poet cannot die, Nor leave his music as of old, But round him ere he scarce be cold Begins the scandal and the cry.
  -- Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892) -- To ------, after reading a Life and Lette...