Related:

• TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details.
  Luckily it is unprovided with a bell summoning us to the sacrifice....
• NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MONEY, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
  An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society....
• OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Brain, n.: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...