Related:

• 1] If at all possible, don't. Let someone else do it.
  2] Change majors. 3] Insert/remove blank lines at random spots, re-compile, and execute....
• 1] Use lots of global variables. 2] Give them cryptic names such a
  X27, a_gcl, or Horace. 3] Put everything in one large ....
• Rules for Good Grammar #4. 1: Don't use no double negatives.
  2: Make each pronoun agree with their antecedents....
• Answers to Last Fortunes' Questions: 1) None. (Moses didn't have an ark).
  2) Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle. 3) You don't know....
• Snafu Equations 1) Given any problem containing n equations, there will be n + 1 unknowns.
  2) An object or bit of information most needed, will be least available....
• Running NYMPHO.EXE %1 %2 %3 %4 ...TIMEOUT... %5 %6 %7 ...TIMEOUT... %8
• 1) If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction.
  2) Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error be discovered....
• You Might be a Microsoft Employee If... 1. Every night you dream of torturing Linus Torvalds 2.
  Every morning you say, "I pledge allegiance to the logo of the United Corporation of Microsoft....
• Eight Things your computer won't do: 1. It won't save you money 2.
  It won't make your organization run right 3. It won't solve every problem 4....