Related:

• I can count even higher if I take my shoes off.
• My girlfriend cut me off. Should I dump her?!*&$#(@^&NO MARYER
• This Thanksgiving is gonna be a special one. My mom says I don't have to sit at the card table.
  -- Jim Samuel...
• I sit down next to him and get my gear off. (My armour I meant!)
• Lisa: Oh, Mom, please? You can make this my birthday *and* Christmas presents.
  Marge: You already used up your birthday and Christmas presents on that peach tree we got you....
• Cut my cote after my cloth. -- John Heywood (c. 1565) -- Proverbes, Part i, Chap. viii
• I practice birth control, which is being around my sister's children.
  You want to run right out and ovulate after you play with them for five minutes....
• I can never make up my mind if I'm happy being a flute player, or if I wish I were Eric Clapton.
  -- Ian Anderso...
• Ross: Anyway. That's when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
  Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game....