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• Champion Pet Show Today Kids: See Toucan Sam's death mask
• Krusty: And I'd like to thank Lester for reuniting me with my estranged wife.
  [applause] Bart: I never even heard about that....
• I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong. -- Sam Goldwy
• Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
• Few, few shall part where many meet! The snow shall be their winding-sheet, And every turf beneath their feet Shall be a soldier's sepulchre.
  -- Thomas Campbell (1777-1844) -- Hohenlinde...
• If you were as innocent as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere. -- Sam Spade
• I love crap we'll never need -- that's my *favorite* kind of crap! -- Truth from Sam and Max
• If you never talk to strangers, then how do you ever meet anyone?
• Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.