Related:

• SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21) You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.
  You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics....
• LIBRA September 23 - October 22 You are very affectionate and sympathetic toward others.
  You enjoy sobbing. You talk a great deal about justice, but no one trusts you....
• How many Scorpios -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Why do you want to know? Are you a cop?...
• LEO July 23 - August 22 You are a very proud and trusting person.
  Others are constantly taking advantage of you. You do not realize what is happening to you because basically you are very stupid....
• IBM: When you care enough to spend the very most.
• Homer: You're my last, last chance: bottom-of-the-barrel, hail-mary, long-shot, wish-you-would-do-it-but-probably-won't final resort to lend me money.
  Selma: We'll take care of you. Patty: Yes, care. [they laugh evilly] [Homer starts laughing too...