Related:

• You wouldn't only sell your grandmother, you'd send her C.O.D.!
• For your free brochure send five dollars to Dimoxinil, 485 Hair Plaza, Hair City, Utah.
  -- advertisement for a hair restoration treatment, "Simpson and Delilah...
• Windows 95: The Dracula of Operating Systems--it sucks up all your memory, bleeds your hard drive dry, and only works an average of 12 hours out of every 24.
• Maybe they'll send you a free upgrade...NOT!
• Send me your money.
• Only the educated are free. -- Epictetu
• Send your spare mice to SOCKS@WHITEHOUSE.GOV
• You Might be a Microsoft Employee If... 1. When a Microsoft program crashes for the millionth time, you say "Oh, well!
  and reboot without any negative thoughts 2. The Windows 95 startup screen (the clouds) makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside 3....
• Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp! cries she With silent lips.
  Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore....