Related:

• After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.
  Although the insurance-company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $...
• I tried to avoid hitting him, but he kept coming toward me and asking for it and I finally felt that I really should oblige him.
  It demolished his car, but it didn't even scratch my road scraper....
• I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
  -- Stephen Leacock (1869-1944)...
• I saw a sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off of the hood of my car.
  -- Excerpt from insurance form....
• As the expected time of birth drew near, the mother-to-be asked her obstetrician, "Will my husband be permitted to stay with me during my delivery?
  "Certainly," the doctor answered. "The father should always be present at the moment of birth....
• At a cocktail party the other night I looked across a crowded room and was half taken by a stranger, in half profile, a handsome, terribly young-looking man with a halo of backlighted curls.
  And then he turned and I realized that it was the stranger I am married to, the beneficiary on my insurance policy, the sport jacket, the love of my life....
• There once was a king who ruled his country long, wisely, and well.
  The king had a son whom he hoped would someday rule the land....
• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....