Related:

• Homer: [into bullhorn] Marge, Marge! Marge: Homer? Home
  Look Marge, I'm sorry I haven't been a better husband....
• Mrs.K: Let's start with Milhouse's grandfather. Van Houte
  Uh, how many of you have a house? [children raise their hands] Van Houte...
• Perhaps myself the first, at some expence of popularity, to unfold the true character of Jefferson, it is too late for me to become his apologist.
  Nor can I have any disposition to do it. I admit that his politics are tinctured with fanaticism, that he is too much in earnest in his democracy, that he has been a mischevous enemy to the principle measures of our past administration, that he is crafty & persevering in his objects, that he is not scrupulous about the means of success, nor very mindful of truth, and that he is a contemptible hypocrite....
• Did you hear about the cynical husband who says it's better to have loved and lost than to have loved and won.
• Rachel: What? It's true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
  Dr. Green: Come on! You're just titling! [to Ross] Her legs are fine!...
• Some people have a way about them that seems to say
  If I have only one life to live, let me live it as a jerk....