Related:

• Alex came home from a business trip to Chicago and found no one home but his daughter Rose, who was crying bitterly.
  "What's the matter, darling?" asked Alex. "Mommy almost died last night," sobbed Rose....
• In this replacement Earth we're building they've given me Africa to do and of course I'm doing it with all fjords again because I happen to like them
  and I'm old-fashioned enough to think that they give a lovely baroque feel to a continent....
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, "Well, what do you need?" -- Stephen Wrigh...
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, "Well, what do you need?" -- Steven Wrigh...
• When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me.
  I said, `Well, what do you need?'" -- Steven Wrigh...
• What a wonderfully exciting cough! Do you mind if I join you?
  -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• You think you've got problems," said Marvin, the paranoid human-hating robot, as if he was addressing a newly occupied coffin, "what are you supposed to do if you ARE a manically depressed robot?
  No, don't bother to answer that, I'm fifty thousand times more intelligent than you and even I don't know the answer....