Related:

• The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing.
  The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to have it filled....
• Ooh I was ugly, so ugly that when I was born the Doctor told my mother "I did all I could but he pulled through anyway".
• Homer: [expansive] So, how was everybody's day at school?
  Bart: Horrifying! Lisa: Pointless! Marge: Exhausting....
• I told my doctor I wanted to stop aging. He gave me a gun!
• Definition of Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's desire to beat or choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.
• He had been bitten by a dog, but didn't give it much thought until he noticed that the wound was taking a remarkably long time to heal.
  Finally, he consulted a doctor who took one look at it and ordered the dog brought in....
• AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.
  Afterwards, the doctor came to her and said, "I have some....
• Hear about... the guru who refused Novacain while having a tooth pulled because he wanted to transcend dental medication?