Related:

• Attention Frankston line passengers. The 4:38pm train to Frankston is running twenty minutes late due to the driver having decided to stop at Armadale and clip his toenails.
  Besides which, staff at Metropolitan Train Control felt a bit thirsty and have all gone to Young & Jacksons for drinkies....
• X windows: It's not how slow you make it. It's how you make it slow.
  The windowing system preferred by masochists 3 to 1....
• HAKMEM /hak'mem/ n. MIT AI Memo 239 (February 1972).
  A legendary collection of neat mathematical and programming hacks contributed by many people at MIT and elsewhere....
• VOLUNTARY Descriptive of an action which you are doing purely because you have been embarrassed into it.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the bag that your product X came in, which naturally has the shop's logo plastered all over it....
• ODD Odd things that you don't want people find in your house include
• TELEMARKETING The practice of ringing you up when you're on the toilet just to ask you what you think about council merge
  would you like to donate to charity X, or would you like to get Call Waiting put on your phone....
• Have you ever programmed in 0095 ... the X windowing system?
  0096 ... CICS? -- from THE HACKER TEST...
• MANIAC There are many people in our everyday society who
  had they been born a few hundred years ago in an area with a feudal system of administration, would have fulfilled their inner wishes to be Genghis Kahn....