Related:

• ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution. "My accountability, bear in mind," Said the Grand Vizie
  Yes, yes," Said the Shah: "I do -- 'tis the only kind Of ability you possess....
• ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
  If I were a jolly archbishop, On Fridays I'd eat all the fish up -- Salmon and flounders and smel...
• BACKBITE, v.t. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BLANK-VERSE, n. Unrhymed iambic pentameters -- the most difficult kind of English verse to write acceptably
  a kind, therefore, much affected by those who cannot acceptably write any kind....
• GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists.
  The former would not go into the caucus and the combination failed, greatly to the chagrin of the fusion managers....
• ADHERENT, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
  An ancient philosopher, expounding his conviction that life is no better than death, was asked by a disciple why, then, he did not die....
• PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom -- and of whom only -- it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President.
  If that's an honor surely 'tis a greater To have been a simple and undamned spectator....
• WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government.
  In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to....