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• Harris had the beefstead pie between his knees, and was carving it, and George and I were waiting with our plates ready.
  "Have you got a spoon there?" says Harris; "I want a spoon to help the gravy with....
• Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasure
  one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink...
• It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do.
  It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work...
• We gave him all the regular ones - the time-honoured lies that have done duty up the river with every boating-man for years past - and added seven entirely original ones that we had invented for ourselve
  including a really quite likely story, founded, to a certain extent, on an all but true episode, which had actually happened in a modified degree some years ago to friends of ours - a story that a mere child could have believed without injuring itself much....
• Love is like the measles, we all have to go through it. -- Jerome K. Jerome
• I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. -- Jerome K. Jerome
• I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.
  Jerome K. Jerome ['They and I', 1909]...
• If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron.
  That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like, "Hey look....