Related:

• There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery.
  ... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said....
• I thought that you said you were 20 years old!" "As a programmer, yes," she replied, "And you claimed to be very near two meters tall!
  "You said you were blonde, but you lied!" Oh, she was a hacker and he was one, too, They had so much in common, you'd say....
• If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on the human face-- forever .
  . . And remember that it is forever. -- George Orwell -- 1984...
• My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate.
  I said, "Just wait." -- Judy Tenuta...
• My youngest child is the funniest one of the group.
  I had just finished eating and my stomach was swollen from the food that went in it....
• When I did my self-portrait, I left all the pimples out because you always should.
  Pimples are a temporary condition and they don't have anything to do with what you really look like....
• Yar: "Captain Jean-Luc Picard, I wish I could say you've been like a father to me, but I've never had one so I don't know what it feels like.
  But if there was one person in this universe who I would choose to be like, someone who I would want to make proud of me, it's you....
• George Washington, father of our country. George Washington, when he was just a child, just a boy, honesty was his trademark.
  The classic story we all remember was when George Washington's father came up to George and said, "George Washington--father of our country--my son--I want to ask you a question....
• Don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister.
  I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love. -- Homer Simpson Lisa on Ice...