Related:

• Washington: Looks like I'm going to have to find another little girl to be President.
  What's your friend Janey's number? Lisa: No, not Janey!...
• If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. KOMMEN
• If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. Will Komme
• How I love C! The only language where main(){ puts("hello, world!
  ); } is equivalent to int i;main(){for(;i["]
• If you look like your driver's license photo -- see a doctor.
  If you look like your passport photo -- it's too late for a doctor....
• A Pole, a Soviet, an American, an Englishman and a Canadian were lost in a forest in the dead of winter.
  As they were sitting around a fire, they noticed a pack of wolves eyeing them hungrily....
• Plumber: Well, to be honest, I never got around to ordering that part for you, so, uh, it's still going to be a couple of weeks.
  Homer: [sly] Oh, really? Plumber: Yes... Home...
• Ask yourself why the New York subway system, alone among the mass transit systems of the world, has maps inside rather than outside the trains.
  It's to force you to get on the wrong train in order to find out where you're going ....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...