Related:

• Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. -- Frank Zappa
• Yo momma hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.
• Pollution is so bad that when I put air in my tires two of them died. -- Lee Tully
• It is my misfortune - and probably my delight - to use things as my passions tell me.
  What a miserable fate for a painter who adores blondes to have to stop himself putting them into a picture because they don't go with the basket of fruit!...
• Homer: I gotta call my family. Oh, this is so embarrassing, calling them from a nuthouse.
  I mean, they think I'm a god! Man: I could call them for you....
• If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle.
  So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it....