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• The devout Jew was beside himself because his son had been dating a shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi.
  The rabbi listened solemnly to his problem, took his hand, and said, "Pray to God....
• To all aspiring young comedians--when are you going to do something with your life?
  Get a real job in hardware sales or taxidermy--meet a nice girl, settle down, and stop hanging around those comedy clubs with all your comedy bum friends....
• If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're mistaken!
  -- Homer in "Homer's Odyssey" , from The Simpso...
• Martin: Aw, a car impound lot: the impenetrable fortress of suburbia!
  Milhouse: We'll never get the tree back now. Ba...
• To understand this important story, you have to understand how the telephone company works.
  Your telephone is connected to a local computer, which is in turn connected to a regional computer, which is in turn connected to a loudspeaker the size of a garbage truck on the lawn of Edna A....
• *** System shutdown message from root *** System going down in 60 second
• down 1. adj. Not operating. "The up escalator is down" is considered a humorous thing to say (unless of course you were expecting to use it)
  and "The elevator is down" always means "The elevator isn't working" and never refers to what floor the elevator is on....