Related:

• I'll have what the guy in the casket had.
• So I slept with the waiter - so what? -- Famous Last Word
• Diner: Waiter! There's a footprint in my breakfast.
  Waiter: Well, I don't see what the problem is. You ordered an omelet and told me to step on it!...
• I don't exercise. I'm Jewish. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
  JOAN RIVERS...
• I only took the regular course." "What was that?" inquired Alice.
  "Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," the Mock Turtle replied...
• Judge: Even though reopening a trial at this point is illegal and grossly unconstitutional, I just can't say no to kids.
  Lawyer: So, young man, if Freddy Quimby _didn't_ inflict these injuries on Mr....
• I'm a beautiful guy And you have just walked by And I have gave you the eye But you pretend to be shy I'm a beautiful guy (You know what I mean?
  You know what I mean?) -- Frank Zappa, "I'm a beautiful guy...
• I had to work fast. If that writer guy wouldn't change the script, I'd have to do it myself.
  -- Marshall, "Reality Takes a Holiday", Eerie Indiana...
• I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it.
  Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. -- Steven Wrigh...