Related:

• At about 2500 A.D., humankind discovers a computer problem that *must* be solved.
  The only difficulty is that the problem is NP complete and will take thousands of years even with the latest optical biologic technology available....
• I have short-term memory loss, though I like to think of it as Presidential eligibility.
  -- Paula Poundstone...
• Marge: Now, I know we love the puppies very much, but I think they're getting to be a problem.
  Bart: Yeah, they ate all my socks. I have to wear Lisa's to school today....
• Marge: Ooh, this place is so big. Do you think we should split up and look for him, Homey?
  Homey? Homer: [at a ticket booth] Two bucks to win on number eight....
• How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 -- did it take to change a light bulb?
  (Dole) When I was a poor boy growing up in Kansas we didn't have light bulbs....
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• The airlines banned smoking on their flights. Now if they can do it on their landings.
  -- Barry Crimmi...
• USA Today--their slogan is: If you can't write, make a list. -- Barry Crimmi
• As a result of the last Presidential election it has come to our attention that anyone can succeed if they learn to have no ideas and a tremendous ability toward precise articulation of these.