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When I Have One Foot In The Grave I Will Tell The Truth About Women.
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When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I
shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do
what you like now."
-- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
Related:
When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women.
I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now....
Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your class.
Homer: Marge, I didn't tell 'em personal stuff. Marge...
Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
Worry no more... Do as I say, not as I do. Do me a favour and don't tell me about it....
Lenny: See, all along I've been telling Carl I'm married to a beauty queen.
Now, he's coming over for dinner. Marge: Oh, Lenny, I'm sure he'll like your wife no matter what she looks like....
Burns: Smithers, do you realize if I had died, there would be no one to carry on my legacy.
Due to my hectic schedule and lethargic sperm, I never fathered an heir....
Homer: [standing on one foot and singing "The Alphabet Song"] W, X, Y, and Z.
Now I know my ABCs, won't you come and play with me....
Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail.
I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade....