Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Commandant: Next up ... Simp-son, Lis-a. [the crowd falls silent.
  The cadet leader plays, "Taps." Lisa climbs the ladder to the first platform, as the crowd begins jeering] Lisa...
• Skinner: Mother doesn't approve of me dating so I need you to keep her busy for a few hours while Edna and I sneak out.
  [sneaks out] Bart: Oh, I can't take much more of this....
• Talking Pinhead Blues: Oh, I LOST my ``HELLO KITTY'' DOLL and I get BAD reception on channel TWENTY-SIX!
  ! Th'HOSTESS FACTORY is closin' down and I just heard ZASU PITTS has been DEAD for YEARS....
• It has been said that trees are imperfect men, and seem to bemoan their imprisonment rooted in the ground.
  But they never seem so to me. I never saw a discontented tree....
• While the engineer developed his thesis, the director leaned over to his assistant and whispered, "Did you ever hear of why the sea is salt?
  "Why the sea is salt?" whispered back the assistant....
• Homer: Oh, these sure are comfortable chairs. Bu
  Oh, yes, sitting. The great leveler. From the mightiest Pharaoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn't enjoy a good sit?...
• Homer: Uh, let's see: eighteen, twenty-seven, thirty-five.
  ..Dealer busts! Looks like you all win again....
• I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex.
  He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you....