With women, the aging thing's terrible. We just fall apart. First thing
that goes on you is your butt ... BAM ... once it's down there it's not
coming back up. Remember when you were young, you used to walk down the
beach in the summertime pulling your little pants down over your firm round
buttocks? Now I spend my summers trying to push my butt flaps back up into
my shorts ... At a certain age you quit lookin' behind you. I'm getting
dressed, pulling up my pantyhose, I catch myself in the mirror. I look back
there thinking:
My Lord! Who's that ugly man with the jowls sneakin' up on me!
-- Stephanie Hodge