Related:

• You have too mech room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabine
• I figure that the best way to figure what the IRS will figure is to get them to figure what you are figuring that they will figure that you are not really figuring what you want them to figure that you figure.
  If you figure all of this out sufficiently, you have got to figure that they can't figure you out in the first place....
• Joey: Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate!
  All: Oh! Joey: (to Chandler) And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne....
• Do you know what I learned from you? I learned what is possible, and now I must hold out for what I thought we had.
  I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me....
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a chicken?
  I don't know, but you have to saw the eggs open....
• Translations from the Wife: "I don't know what you're talking about.
  / She knows exactly what you're talking about. "It isn't what you said, it's the way you said it....
• Have you locked your file cabinet?