Related:

• LOQUACITY, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• TURKEY, n. A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
  Incidentally, it is pretty good eating. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Overwork, n. A dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BONDSMAN, n. A fool who, having property of his own, undertakes to become responsible for that entrusted to another to a third.
  Philippe of Orleans wishing to appoint one of his favorites, a dissolute nobleman, to a high office, asked him what security he would be able to give....
• CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
  When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved....
• MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• INTERREGNUM, n. The period during which a monarchical country is governed by a warm spot on the cushion of the throne.
  The experiment of letting the spot grow cold has commonly been attended by most unhappy results from the zeal of many worthy persons to make it warm again....
• KEEP, v.t. He willed away his whole estate, And then in death he fell asleep, Murmuring
  Well, at any rate, My name unblemished I shall keep....
• ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...