Related:

• Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they point upward from the floor -- especially in the dark.
• IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
  Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful....
• Ross Perot and Al Gore in `96? <*shudder*>
• Ross enters, wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie] Ro
  Hey, you guys! Guess what? Rachel: [looking at the outfit] Got a job on a river boat?...
• Sorry about the crayon. They won't let me have any sharp objects.
• Inknition: the metal clicker at the top of ball point pens.
• There are two types of dirt: The dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.