Related:

• Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to die soon.
• Almost in every kingdom the most ancient families have been at first princes' bastard
  heir worthiest captains, best wits, greatest scholars, bravest spirits in all our annals, have been base [born]....
• The second best policy is dishonesty.
• The best way to get praise is to die.
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you realize you have never seen half of your best friends.
• The following appeared in a memo from the chief executive of a video game company.
  "We have recently been offered the opportunity to buy the rights to produce a video game based on the soon-to-be-published children's book 'Squirrel Power,' by Peter Wood....
• The best writing never appears.