Related:

• Executor: May I offer my condolences on the untimely passing of your Great Aunt Hortense.
  As her only living heirs, you stand to inherit her entire estate....
• Not the same since they took him off his medication.
• The socialist or anarchist who seeks to overturn present conditions is to be regarded as attacking the foundation upon which civilization itself rests.
  .. One who studies this subject will soon be brought face to face with the conclusion that upon the sacredness of property civilization itself depends -- the right of the laborer to his hundred dollars in the saving bank, and equally the legal right of the millionaire to his millions....
• Hey! Unless this is a nude love-in, get the hell off my property!
  "You can't *own* property, man!" "I can! That's because I'm not a penniless hippie!...
• A politician will always tip off his true belief by stating the opposite at the beginning of the sentence.
  For maximum comprehension, do not start listening until the first clause is concluded....
• Did you hear about the Newfie that Took his pregnant wife to a grocery store, because they had free delivery.
• Twas bergen and the eirie road Did mahwah into patterso
  "Beware the Hopatcong, my son! All jersey were the ocean groves, The teeth that bite, the nails And the red bank bayonne....
• This land is my land, and only my land, I've got a shotgun, and you ain't got one, If you don't get off, I'll blow your head off, This land is private property.
  -- Apologies to Woody Guthrie...
• If a dependent clause precedes an independent clause put a comma after the dependent clause.