Related:

• FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Done to a turn on the iron, behold Him who to be famous aspired.
  Content? Well, his grill has a plating of gold, And his twistings are greatly admired....
• HERS, pron. His. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PRECIPITATE, adj. Anteprandial. Precipitate in all, this sinner Took action first, and then his dinner.
• SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited. The Duchess of Orleans relates that the irreverent old calumniator, Marshal Villeroi, who in his youth had known St.
  Francis de Sales, said, on hearing him called sai...
• DEGENERATE, adj. Less conspicuously admirable than one's ancestors.
  The contemporaries of Homer were striking examples of degeneracy...
• DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
  An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was pouted on his lips to revive him....
• PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him.
  For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk....