Approaching the gates of the monastery, Hakuin found Ken the Zen
preaching to a group of disciples.
"Words..." Ken orated, "they are but an illusory veil obfuscating
the absolute reality of --"
"Ken!" Hakuin interrupted. "Your fly is down!"
Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon Ken, and he
vaporized.
On the way to town, Hakuin was greeted by an itinerant monk imbued
with the spirit of the morning.
"Ah," the monk sighed, a beatific smile wrinkling across his cheeks,
"Thou art That..."
"Ah," Hakuin replied, pointing excitedly, "And Thou art Fat!"
Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon the monk,
and he vaporized.
Next, the Governor sought the advice of Hakuin, crying: "As our
enemies bear down upon us, how shall I, with such heartless and callow
soldiers as I am heir to, hope to withstand the impending onslaught?"
"US?" snapped Hakuin.
Whereupon the Clear Light of Illumination exploded upon the
Governor, and he vaporized.
Then, a redneck went up to Hakuin and vaporized the old Master with
his shotgun. "Ha! Beat ya' to the punchline, ya' scrawny li'l geek!"
As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day
I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay,
The words were torn and tattered,
From the storm the night before,
The wind and rain had done its work and this is how it goes,
Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes, chew Wrigleys Spearmint beer,
Ken-L-Ration dog food makes your complexion clear,
Simonize your baby in a Hershey candy bar,
And Texaco's a beauty cream that's used by every star....
