Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• An eighty-year-old woman is rocking away the afternoon on her porch when she sees an old, tarnished lamp sitting near the steps.
  She picks it up, rubs it gently, and lo and behold a genie appears!...
• She was ugly! She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl who's so ugly, when you go out with her you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
  She was so ugly, you look in the dictionary under "ugly" and you see her picture....
• We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength.
  But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant....
• Once at a dinner party when he was a young man, Winston Churchill, who at the time had a moustache, was seated next to an older woman.
  She said to him, "Young man, I care neither for your politics nor for your moustache....
• Lisa: I can't believe it, Bart. I'd always thought Jessica was so sweet!
  Bart: She's like a Milk Dud, Lis: sweet on the outside, poison on the inside....
• A man met a beautiful young woman in a bar. They got along well, shared dinner, and had a marvelous evening.
  When he left her, he told her that he had really enjoyed their time together, and hoped to see her again, soon....