Related:

• The captain. He's a real son of the sea. He first became interested in ships when his mother approached him.
  John, your father wants you to build a boat at once," she said....
• Once upon a time, there was a fisherman who lived by a great river.
  One day, after a hard day's fishing, he hooked what seemed to him to be the biggest, strongest fish he had ever caught....
• Sheriff, we gotta catch Black Bart." "Oh, yeah? What's he look like?
  "Well, he's wearin' a paper hat, a paper shirt, paper pants and paper boots....
• We believe he wanted to win in the worst way. -- Seminole County, Fla.
• I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground, and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground.
  Now that's a documentary! -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• The lake rises above the trees: The image of Preponderance of the Great.
  Thus the superior man, when he stands alone, Is unconcerned, And if he has to renounce the world, He is undaunted....
• And on the seventh day, while He was resting, He created snack cakes.
  And He saw that they looked good, and He did bite into one, at which time he realized that they tasted like something that had been sitting on a shelf wrapped in cheap plastic for decades....
• The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left his ticket at home.
  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat....
• While the engineer developed his thesis, the director leaned over to his assistant and whispered, "Did you ever hear of why the sea is salt?
  "Why the sea is salt?" whispered back the assistant....