Related:

• There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up with taking in a round with his wife.
  One time (with his wife along) he was having an extremely bad round....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• You never have the right number of pills left on the last day of a prescription.
• HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation.
  So skilled the parson was in homiletics That all his normal purges and emetics To medicine the spirit were compounded With a most just discrimination founded Upon a rigorous examination Of tongue and pulse and heart and respiration....
• Heroine" is perhaps as peculiar a word as any in our language
  he two first letters of it are a male, the three first a female, the four first a brave man, and the whole word a brave woman....
• Accident in Santa Cruz At this place, August 15th, William D Farrand was shot in the thigh by the accidental discharge of his pistol while he was in the act of putting it in his pocket.
  The wound is severe. -- From the Sacramento Daily Union of October 31, 1861...
• These pills can't be habit-forming; I've been taking them for years.
• But these pills can't be habit forming; I've been taking them for years.
• The beach was a beach we shall not name, because his private house was there
  but it was a small sandy stretch somewhere along the hundreds of miles of coastline that runs west from Los Angeles, which is described in the new edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" in one entry as "junky, wunky, lunky, stunky, and what's that other word, and all kinds of bad stuff, woo," and in another, written only hours later as "being like several thousand square miles of American Express junk mail, but without the same sense of moral depth....