Related:

• AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RAPACITY, n. Providence without industry. The thrift of power.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness.
  When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants....
• Flash: FDA outlaws new addictive substance--air...
• DISTANCE, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs, and keep.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Ignorance is the opiate of the poor, a cordial, administered by the gracious hand of providence.
• INSECTIVORA, n. "See," cries the chorus of admiring preachers, "How Providence provides for all His creatures!
  "His care," the gnat said, "even the insects follow...
• LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
  Ah, punster, would my lot were cast, Where the cobbler is unknown, So that I might forget his last And hear your own....