Related:

• I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car.
  I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me....
• Martin: [to his flipping dog] Oh boy, Flipsy! You and I are going on a road trip.
  [Nelson grabs Martin and tosses Flipsy out the window] [Flipsy gets run over by a car] Nelso...
• Tux Penguin Boxing Match LAS VEGAS, NV -- The unofficial Linux mascot Tux the Penguin will face his arch rival the BSD Daemon in a boxing match this Saturday night.
  The match is part of the International Computer Mascot Boxing Federation's First Annual World Championship Series....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Once upon a time, a four-year-old boy was visiting his uncle and aunt.
  He was a very outspoken little boy and ofttimes had to be censured to say the right thing at the right time....
• Have you seen the old man in the closed down market, Kicking up the papers in his worn out shoes?
  In his eyes you see no pride, hands hang loosely at his side Yesterdays papers, telling yesterdays news....
• Lisa: I would like to say grace. Ahem. Lord, have mercy on my soul.
  ..and Mom's soul...and Dad's soul......
• Drama is life with the dull bits cut out. -- Alfred Hitchcock (1899-1980)
• Mrs. K: Bart, have you ever read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"?
  Bart: I'm halfway through it, I swear! -- That's the one with Little Red Riding Hood and the three pigs, right?...