Related:

• Quimby: In the spirit of the occasion, I must tell you what I think.
  You two screwed up royal! Worker: Ya know, I really don't feel like being blamed....
• Smithers: [chuckles] Perfect. When I give the signal, you transfer the call to Mr.
  Burns. After she tears into him I'll rush in and save the day....
• You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
  --Napoleon I...
• That boss of yours must be a real prick," commiserated the fellow in response to his date's bitter complaints about the situation in her office.
  Not really," said the girl, "He's such a phony that I prefer to classify him as a dildo....
• Marge: What were you thinking, sending Bart to such an awful place?
  Homer: I was trying to punish him exactly like you would....
• A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday evening and walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces.
  He turns to a gorgeous woman, who is obviously windowshopping, looks her straight in the eye and says, "I can tell by your eyes that you really want that necklace....
• Marge: Kids, your father and I are going through a really tough time right now, and I don't know what's going to happen.
  But just remember both your Mom and your Dad love you very, very much....
• I sent a letter to the fish, I told them, This is what I wish.
  The little fishes of the sea, They sent an answer back to me....