Related:

• Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record.
  I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense of humor....
• Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police record.
  I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense of humor....
• I asked my doctor if I should have a vasectomy. He said leave a sleeping dog lie.
  The last time I had sex my self-winding watch stopped. -- Lenny Rush...
• I went to the doctor last week. He told me to take all my clothes off.
  Then he said, "You'll have to diet." I said, "What color?" -- Ken Dodd...
• A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?
  ' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator....
• I was hitchhiking the other day and this car trailer pulled up and offered me a ride.
  He said that there was no room in the cab, but I could climb into one of the cars in the back....
• I have a box of telephone rings under my bed. Whenever I get lonely, I open it up a little bit, and I get a phone call.
  One day I dropped the box all over the floor. The phone wouldn't stop ringing....
• I was driving down the street at 100 miles per hour for no reason.
  The police stopped me for speeding. They said, "Why were you going so fast?...