Related:

• LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 23) Major achievements, new friends, and a previously unexplored way to make a lot of money will come to a lot of people today, but unfortunately you won't be one of them.
  Consider not getting out of bed today....
• LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality.
  If you are a man, you are more than likely gay. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent....
• LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality.
  If you are a man, you are more than likely gay. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent....
• VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22) Learn something new today, like how to spell or how to count to ten without using your fingers.
  Be careful dressing this morning. You may be hit by a car later in the day and you wouldn't want to be taken to the doctor's office in some of that old underwear you own....
• SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21) Friends abound today, seeking repayment of past loans.
  Smile. Check for concealed weapons. Your natural cheerfulness makes others want to throw up....
• VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22) Learn something new today, like how to spell or how to count to ten without using your fingers.
  Be careful dressing this morning. You may be hit by a car later in the day and you wouldn't want to be taken to the doctor's office in some of that old underwear you own....
• LEO (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader.
  Others think you are pushy. Most Leo people are bullies....