Related:

• A clean tie attracts the soup of the day. -- Diner's Dilemma
• Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
• Political Power attracts the corruptable.
• Anyone who wears a coat and tie on their day off, unless that person is going to or coming from a funeral home, is certainly not above suspicion.
• Each day fill lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks. Wash the windows once a week. -- Work Rule
• There is America, which at this day serves for little more than to amuse you with stories of savage men and uncouth manne
  yet shall, before you taste of death, show itself equal to the whole of that commerce which now attracts the envy of the world....
• Eat to live, and not on thy Diner's Club Card. -- Poor Jimmy's Almanac
• If you can't tie good knots... tie many.