Related:

• QOTD: "I've got one last thing to say before I go; give me back all of my stuff.
• QOTD: "I used to be an idealist, but I got mugged by reality.
• QOTD: "I used to jog, but the ice kept bouncing out of my glass.
• I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad.
  I'd say yeah? When? -- Bill Hick...
• I used to be normal, then I got my computer...
• QOTD: "Every morning I read the obituaries; if my name's not there, I go to work.
• I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
• My father used to tell me, "When Abraham Lincoln was your age, Abraham Lincoln had a job.
  When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked twelve miles to get to school....
• Apu: I can't lie to myself, you know. I _do_ miss my Kwik-E-Mart.
  Lisa: Isn't there _anything_ you can do to get your job back?...