Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions to the sentiments of others, and all positive assertion of my own.
  I even forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language that imported a fixed opinion, such as "certainly", "undoubtedly", etc....
• Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
  He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face....
• One fine day, the bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.
  No problems for the first few stops -- a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well....
• Long's Notes 1) Always store beer in a dark place.
  2) Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent....
• Well, my daddy left home when I was three, And he didn't leave much for Ma and me, Just and old guitar an'a empty bottle of booze.
  Now I don't blame him 'cause he ran and hid, But the meanest thing that he ever did, Was before he left he went and named me Sue....
• The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left his ticket at home.
  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat....
• My message is not that biological determinists were bad scientists or even that they were always wrong.
  Rather, I believe that science must be understood as a social phenomenon, a gutsy, human enterprise, not the work of robots programmed to collect pure information....